A Christmas shout-out
It's been an amazing year in the blogosphere, especially if you read the blogs I do. I've been following the witty-and-yet-heartbreaking-at-the-same-time writing of Getupgrrl, Julie, Karen, and Tertia for the past year and often find myself laughing and crying at the same time as they've detailed their experiences. (For those of you who don't read these blogs, you should start. Click on those links and read through the archives. It's powerful stuff. And you'll never look at a speculum the same way again.)
I've never been a big fan of blogs and think that 99.99% of them suck, but I have to say that I follow these chicks' blogs religiously. In fact, one of many reasons I haven't updated my own site this month is because I've just been sitting at my computer hitting Refresh on A Little Pregnant and Chez Miscarriage to make sure that Julie's baby and Grrl's pregnancy are still okay.
So in the spirit of the season and writing an entire post without bitching about anything for once, I send my warmest Christmas and holiday wishes to Julie, Karen, Tertia and Grrl. I sincerely wish you all the best in '05. Thanks for making an internet connection worth having.
Beware of blog
Oh, yeah. This thing. I've been spending so much time reading other people's blogs that I kind of forgot about my own. Besides, lately I haven't had any opinions other than "sleep is so amazingly wonderful and overrated. I miss it."
The main blog I've been keeping up with is my husband's. He finally got his own site since he loves to talk about politics and economics and other stuff that I deemed too boring for any of my sites. International free trade agreements? Who cares! Fat Joe videos? Now that's fascinating stuff.
Anyway, I need to keep up with his site since it seems that everyone else we know is reading it. We know this by the volume of email he's received from people we know who've found the site. (Tip: If you're ever not getting enough email and want to fill up your inbox quickly, start a political blog and tell your friends about it.)
Continue reading "Beware of blog"The Twelve Days of Spam
Since my email address used to be all over Buttafly without any sort of spam protection I have the privilege of getting about 200 spam emails per day. Qurb, my spam filtering program, says it has snagged 72,857 emails since this time last year. Fantastic.
I've been trying to come up with some sort of purpose for all this crap. Sign up people I don't like to their distribution lists? Forward the particularly lurid ones to all my friends who send me chain letters with the subject "PLS forward - VERY IMPORTANT"?
As I was going through this thought process the Twelve Days of Christmas was playing in the background, inspiring me to wonder: What if this "true love" person mentioned in the song did all his shopping through spam emails alone?
And thus was born the Twelve Days of Spam, a beautiful song for the holidays as well as a wistful retrospective of the past year as seen through my Qurb folder. All of the lyrics are derived from actual spams I have received.
The Twelve Days of Spam
On the twelfth day of Christmas my spammer gave to me...
Twelve slutty Asians,
Eleven SoBig.F worms,
Ten Rolex watches,
Nine free drugs online,
Eight hot teen webcams,
Seven low mortgage rates,
Six tranny chatrooms,
Fiiiiiiiive Viagra,
Four Vicodin,
Three Xanax,
Two Valium,
And a virus that crashed my C: drive
I fully expect to see this on the Osmonds' next Christmas album.